


Fogged Mirrors and Long Hair

by gigaremo



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Snake, being outed, implied romantic feelings, trans otacon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 09:12:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19195912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigaremo/pseuds/gigaremo
Summary: Hal is a trans man, but has never come out to anyone. In his time alone with Snake, he's skirted around saying this, however forgeting a vital article of clothing behind after a shower creates an opportunity he didn't expect.[Hal has an implied crush on Snake, and while not mentioned, Snake vice versa]





	Fogged Mirrors and Long Hair

On the old bathroom walls, the sound of water echoed off, steam rising and a fog blinding the mirror. In the shower stood Hal Emmerich, the heat having turned his skin a dusted red. His hands were working the last of the soap from his wiry hair, his curled fingers twisting to squeeze all of the suds out.

He hadn't meant to let his hair grow so long, if anything he found it a bother to all manage. But, he didn't trust his hands to cut it himself, they've been shaky after it all and he wouldn't like to mess up or hurt himself. And Snake wasn't an option, he'd decided, Hal didn't think he could handle Snake doing that for him. Plus, a worry couldn't help but nag at him, that Snake would interrogate him over the haircut.

He let out a small sigh, one hand moving to stop the water while the other worked to wring out his hair; it was by no means thick, but its length lent itself to becoming a sponge. Hal stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel, shoving it in his face and rubbing it dry. He moved it to cover his body, from the chest, while stepping to the mirror and grabbing a comb.

The fog of the mirror helped blur his figure, but he still let out a small grimace at the mosaic man he saw. A finger fiddled with the tuck in the towel, and a displeasure started in his chest. Specifically, a displeasure regarding his chest.

Hal felt lucky Snake preferred 'Otacon' over his name in the files. After all these years, Hal had come to his finite conclusion regarding himself, and felt quite confident in the fact, but what he lacked confidence in was coming forth about it.

As he began to struggle his comb through the wet knots, it began to gnaw at him again, like it always came back to. He didn't want to be a woman to Snake, and no one else for that matter, because he knew for a fact that it wasn't the case. He couldn't recount how long ago if you asked, but it was certainly years. The wince of hearing his birthname, the anxiety carried in with every utterance of 'she', the growing resentment towards the fatty tissue on his chest; they've been with him for some time now, long before ever meeting the super soldier. And he had no idea how to say it out loud.

Hal cringed as the comb caught on a particularly tangled knot, and contorted his face as it pulled back with more hair than it reasonably should. With his other hand tenderly holding the part of his scalp that had been so viciously tugged on to produce such a ball, he looked in the clearing mirror and decided that his hair was good enough, and anymore combing can wait. He dug his fingers through the bristles and yanked the hair out, dropping it in a small trash bin before rubbing his hand on his toweled hip.

He loosened his towel and dried himself more intimately, all the while trying to ignore the sag of his chest. With that, he placed it next to his dirty clothes and picked up a large hoodie, his underwear, and a pair of pajama bottoms. The hoodie was far too large for him, his body lost in the thick fabric, and when he looked down after pulling it over his head, he couldn't help but appreciate that fact. His chest was by no means large, if anything they were small, which he appreciated as well, but their mere presence on his skinny frame left a bitter taste in his mouth and a grimace on his lips.

As Hal appreciated the wonders of ill-fitting clothing, a knock against the bathroom startled a small yelp from his throat.

"Otacon, are you done yet? I still need to shower."

With Snake's muffled voice, Hal quickly bent and collected his dirty clothes and towel in a rush, throwing his glasses up to sit on his nose as he was shuffling to open the door.

"Sorry Snake, I-I lost track of time." he mumbled, brushing past Snake.

"You're fine, I just wanna clean up after my workout." Snake replied as he entered the bathroom, closing the door behind him with a shrug of his shoulders.

Hal made a brisk pace to the bedroom, dropping his pile on his side of the bed with a small sigh. He could feel the warmth of a blush on his cheeks, a mixture of the steam and embarrassment from hogging the bathroom.

Ignoring the previous, he picked at the pile one by one to drop off in the laundry bin. As he did, when picking up the last item, he realized he had forgotten something. And with that fact brought to mind, as did anxiety.

His binder. It wasn't here.

Hal always made sure to keep it hidden aside, and washed it separately in the sink when he could. Snake didn't know, and with the worry of how he may react if he did, Hal made it his top priority to make sure he didn't. And with the garment missing, and the knowledge that he took it off right before stepping into the shower, that left it only in one place.

His hands began to shake by his sides, and he began a small paced circle, fingers rushing to fiddle with the strings of the hoodie. Snake couldn't know, right? If anything, he'd think it was a weird sports bra. But what sports bras have such a tight front and loose back? Would Snake know? Hal's heard of Snake's exploits with women secondhand, does he know how bras do and don't look from all of those times? How many women wear a sports bra before having sex, Hal asked himself. And he found no answer, and no ease to the nerves pricking at his skin.

Maybe I'm overreacting, Hal reasoned. Maybe Snake doesn't even see it, and if he does what're the chances he'll put much thought behind that lil thing? He'll probably shrug it off as a woman thing and tell Hal he left it in there, and then Hal can act embarrassed, like yeah, it is just a woman thing, sorry for forgetting it, guys aren't supposed to s-

As Hal pondered his game plan and the inner musings of a man he's come to understand little about, Snake entered the room, dumping his dirty clothes in the bin before catching Hal's attention.

"Otacon, can I ask you a question?" he started.

Hal froze on the spot, eyes trained to a stain on the floor to avoid looking at Snake. "Um, i-is this one I can say no to? O-or are you asking to be polite?"

He could hear Snake let out a sigh, but it was a moment before he heard a reply. "It's something that I would very much like the answer to."

Hal's mouth pressed into a fine line, but he let his arms curl in to hold himself as he raised his head to meet Snake's eyes. Snake wore only a pair of loose pajama bottoms, no shirt, and in his hands he held the binder. He let a shaky breath out through his nose before talking. "Okay."

With that, Snake's shoulders loosened, Hal couldn't help but notice they were already less tense them usual, and he placed the black garment on the bed gently. Snake rounded the bed and stood before Hal, eye's unreadable as Hal could tell his brain was working.

Snake did have the parts to consider what he says before blurting it out, he just didn't use it much. And seeing the cogs start to move as that part was in action was both reassuring to Hal, as that meant he was approaching this with caution, and amusing, though he would never admit the latter aloud.

"I know what that is. The lil thing you left in the bathroom." Snake started, his eyes wandered to look at the messy bedspread as he spoke.

"I don't wanna make you say anything, but just. Know you're safe." he looked back to Hal with a nod. "Trust me on that."

Hal's fingers had loosened on the sleeves, but the grip was still firm. His feet shuffled slightly as his gaze looked back to the bed. "What, what do you think is going on. W, Why would I have reason to worry about my safety.”

It wasn't a question, at least the tone lacked it. Hal swallowed, throat feeling thick, but the curiosity pushed him. Snake was a blunt man, he didn't take to things with a cautious head much, so why was he now? What's different?

Snakes hands came to rest on his hips, eyes back to staring at the same gaudy pattern of sheets as Hal. "Would it ease your nerves if I came out first?"

Hearing that, Hal's brows furrowed and he turned to look back up at Snake, mouth fumbling to find his answer. "W, what? What, what are you saying? I-I don't understand, come out about what?”

Snake's eyes turned back down to Hal, his face still unreadable, but feeling softer than before.

"I'm trans, Dr. Emmerich. I was not born with what people know as a 'mans body', and I have a strong suspicion you are too. I know you're scared, but knowing I'm in the same boat, I figured that would put you at ease, maybe."

Snake shrugged his shoulders, crossing his arms as he tried to make it nonchalant. He was fully aware as to the weight of his words, but he hoped his body language could ease the truth of the matter for Hal.

Hal stood silent and still for a moment, eyes in Snake's direction, but clearly lost in thought. When they focused back in, he took a glance at Snake, and his mouth fell open. "H-how? I mean, look at you!"

Hal made a sweeping motion to Snake's body, and followed it with adding his other arm and making a more exaggerated motion, all the while his mouth curled into a bewildered smile. "You have, body hair, like so much, a-and a beard! You can grow one of those! A-and look at your body! Your jaw is strong, it's not soft or round, you're tall! Holy crap you're tall! And I can't miss it, your chest! You don't have, boobs, you have, man pecs! No annoying flesh bags! There's no way!"

As he made these rushed motions and huffed exclamations, Snake couldn't help but laugh. "Sounds like someone's been really looking."

With that, Hal froze, his arms stuck rigid in the middle of another exaggerated motion. The blush returned, this time with no steam or time wasting to blame, and it was much fiercer. His lips closed back in a line, and his brows furrowed worry over his wide eyes, arms slowly retreating back to himself. "I-I mean, um. You're, kinda, ya know, shirtless a lot, and um, the eye is drawn to m-movement and, uh,"

With the doctors fumbling, Snake let a harder laugh rumble from his chest, a smile creasing his cheeks as he looked down at Hal. "Alright, alright, you're fine. I'm not gonna ride you for looking, don't worry about it." As he said this, he knocked a large hand into Hal's shoulder.

"And I mean it, I'm not lying to comfort you. You know I don't do that shit."

Hal's worried eyes crept back up to meet Snake's, teeth worrying his lip. "H... how? You, you look like, like a man. How can you look like this and not, not like me?” That last bit was spoken with a sour tone, but not towards Snake.

Snake let out a small huff, and offered Hal a crook of his lips. "You'd be amazed at what they can offer you in the military." he shrugged his shoulders and gestured his hands noncommittally. "B'sides, it's not like I'm indistinguishable from other men. They ain't got anything advanced enough to fully change what's in my pants, and if someone wanted to they could find the scars on my chest."

Hal let out a small laugh "I'm not sure anyone would be able to tell surgical scars from battle scars."

Snake laughed with him, and knocked his shoulder again. "So, that make you feel any better?"

Hal smiled, a small one, and nodded. "Yeah, and it, kinda has me excited, actually. I mean, if I could ever look even a tenth as masculine as you do, then I'd be happy. I was always worried I'd just, forever look like a woman..." he muttered the next under his breath. "Had no idea if I'd even ever try to not be seen like one, either."

Snake nodded, a sense of understanding, and a long past wave of nostalgia washing over him. "It'll take a while, and it's some gettin' used to, but trust me; if we can get you in the process, you'll be finding little chin hairs and a deeper voice in no time."

Hal laughed, a giddy euphoria jolting at his shoulders. He started to bounce on his feet, and he fumbled his hands into his pocket to keep them from flapping. "That's, really, thank you this is, very welcome news!"

Snake chuckled, and let his arms fall back to his sides. "Just one more question; how would you like me to call you? I'll admit Otacon is more on my tongue, but if I wanna call you by name, I want it to be one you wanna respond to, yeah?"

Hal's eyebrows went up, and his hands jumped up to fumble by his chest, nervous digits circling each other. "Oh, um... I-I've been fiddling with Hal, I'm not sure if it fits, but-"

"It fits you just fine, Hal." Snake interrupted, a curl to his mouth. "Fits you like a glove."

Hal froze, but not like he has through the night yet. His mouth turned in a goofy smile, eyebrows lowering to his misty eyes. "Thank you, David."

“And, if it’s not too much to ask… could you help me cut my hair? The knots this thing gets are killing me, I’m making a hair mountain in the trashcan.”

**Author's Note:**

> while writing the summary my brain was like STEALTH TRANS SNAKE and i started giggling to myself like a fucking gremlin anyways yeehaw hope ya liked it


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